Ain't No Labour Today, Darling
The Manic Monday Post
Way, way back in 1997 when America first invented Labor Day, John F Kennedy (who may have had gay experiences with his Prep School friend) really thought he ate. Imagine taking ONE day out of the year to celebrate the workforce, citizens who have been clocking in NINE to FIVE… EVERYDAY… just to make a living? I don’t think! So I do hope on this day of respite you’re relaxing with your feet up, barbecuing, and drinking a Bloody Mary (or in the case of Florence Pugh, a watery Aperol Spritz) or whatever it is y’all be doing on this day. Either way, get comfortable, because what a week!
Yesterday was Beyoncé’s birthday, and she didn’t drop any visuals, but I’m just gonna chalk that up to her getting up there in age and forgetting. Plus she has a geriatric husband too, like, she has a lot on her plate.
As we bid farewell to Serena Williams who played her last game of tennis at the US Open, we are reminded that she is truly the greatest athlete of all time. And imagine BEING the greatest athlete of all time and still being humble enough to express your gratitude to your elder sister. I hope the Nobel Peace Prize committee is getting her award together AS WE SPEAK!!!
Honourable Mention
Please sir, my darlings, they’re worrying!
I simply CANNOT stop worrying darling. Every new story that comes out about this movie I gobble up like a Hungry, Hungry Hippo. Harry’s questionable accent from a nine second clip. Olivia’s forehead. Chris Pine literally not mentioning this movie ONCE, even in passing! Florence not showing up at Venice Film Festival to do press even though it was previously reported that that’s the only press she would do? It’s like watching the city of Atlantis sink in real time.
UPDATE: The Don’t Worry Darlings had their press conference this morning and it was — of course, a nightmare. After dodging questions about Shia LaBeouf’s involvement/text messages and Florence Pugh’s noted absence (even tho she was literally on the red carpet during the press conference, and later seen sauntering around a sparse Venetian patio with a watered down Aperol Spritz (the nastiest, most vibes only drink besides Espresso Martinis) having left all the fucks she had to give behind in Budapest.
Chris Pine was — also there, which is probably the last place in the world he wanted to be, and we love a king who stays out of drama, but he looked pretty, so truly, that’s all we can ask for.
Like, he looked really pretty. I know a pine I’d like to C!!!!
The look of joy on Florence’s face — I know the sweat is just DRIPPING down Olivia’s forehead, she boutta have a muthafuckin panic attack
And for all the mess that’s happening around this movie, pls trust and believe when it comes out I will be SAT in the theatre, ready to watch.
Homos on the Range
As it wraps filming, a new still has been released from Pedro Almodóvar’s upcoming film A Strange Way of Life starring Pedro Pascal and Ethan Hawke, with appearances by resident twink Manu Rios. The film is Almodóvar’s answer for Brokeback Mountain (2005) — he said that movie was cute or whatever, but y’all had
Jake Gyllenhaalout here BOTTOMING after eating BEANS??? Home of phobic. But SINCE Pedro Almodóvar is in the mood for answering things, how about he answer my texts and let me know when I can expect to have a private viewing of this movie!!! Not him ignoring a queer black man of colour!!!
Pedro Pascal and salt and pepper papi Ethan Hawke (from Hawke’s IG @EthanHawke) and if you’re asking me if I think they shoulda got a little closer and rubbed their beards together, forgoing a flint and using the friction to create a powerful, ambient fire, then YES! I DO ACTUALLY
Oh he’s SUCKING IT
This weekend I saw The Invitation a campy vampy film starring Gossip Girl’s sexy Scottish lad, Thomas Doherty and Nathalie Emmanuel from Four Weddings and a Funeral (2019). If you like sexy people and vampire shit you will like this, also, they have AMAZING chemistry. My only gripe is that I shouldn’t have had to wait 1hr 35m to see some fucking fangs!!! True Blood would never!
Anyways, there is this, so let me shut up
Don’t Mention It
Celebrity Skin Care / Makeup lines - Imagine how tired we are that every other week some half baked bored as hell celebrity decides “you know what would be fun? If I came up with a product that no one asked for that does nothing and costs $150 a bottle.” And the branding don’t even be good! ENOUGH! There is a certain pop diva who shall remain nameless — whose makeup line, and subsequent makeup looks using said line are TERRIBLE and every time I see them I’m left wondering WHY DID YOU DO THAT, do that, do that, do that, do that to me!!!
Adding “core” on to fashion to create an aesthetic. “Barbiecore” “Balletcore” “Tenniscore” shut UP!!! It’s literally just people wearing clothes! As you know, fashion is on its last leg and at this point, she needs crutches.
Leonardo DiCaprio “dating” young girls jokes, Like, we get it, let’s workshop more jokes babe. All I’m saying is Leonardo DiCaprio’s tastes are very similar to Leonardo Da Vinci’s! Do with that WHAT YOU WILL!!! The only funny take I’ve seen is from this TikTok creator.
Did I forget To Mention
The last two weeks I’ve been sent some AMAZING book mail that really has me feeling like Heidi Montag, and once again, she’s right! So here are a few of my recs.
As a black queer man of colour, I love stories about intergenerational POC, and what’s more is that I love beautifully written, melancholic stories sprinkled with levity. Joan is Okay by Weike Wang is that, and so much more. It also deals with the struggles of being a model minority and working too much. Chill out. IT’S LABOR DAY GIRL!
I know that you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, but I am a book cover snob and I will NOT apologize for it!!! This cover is a UK Cover that I was lucky enough to be sent, and it’s truly so beautiful. Zain Khalid’s Brother Alive is such a beautifully written, heartbreaking story with saccharine prose. Trust me, you need it babes.
As the ONLY person who has been giving a modicum of effort into magazine covers, the first black editor-in-chief of British Vogue, Edward Enninful (who just got married in May) has released A Visible Man, a beautifully written memoir, and if you love fashion (or just well written books) you NEED to pick up. There are also gorgeous full pages of glossy photos from his life included! It’s available for preorder and releases tomorrow, 06 September 2022.
A little scents and sensibility — one thing about me is that I only wear four scents a year. Yes, that’s right, even though I’m extremely high maintenance, and hot and sexcy, I only wear one scent per season.
From Winter to Spring I prefer something floral + peppery. From Spring to Summer, floral and citrus (always a neroli) from Summer to Autumn (in THIS house we say AUTUMN not “Fall”!!!) a full floral, and from Autumn to Winter, something woodsy.
But one thing I don’t like is to smell like everyone else. The summer of 2018 in NY when everyone was walking around smelling like Santal 33 by LeLabo I wanted to kms!!! So this Vetyverio is perfect as we transition into Autumn. You will get compliments. Free dinners. Maybe even stalkers, but you will smell great, so really, who cares.
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