Ariana Grande's Yes, And, It's No Piece of Me by Britney Spears

She's Miss Bad Media Karma

The Ponytail is back.

I know that sounds like a threat to women who just had newborn babies with their husbands who play Nickelodeon characters on Broadway, but it’s actually just an announcement that Ariana Grande is back with new music.

At midnight, Miss Grande who is fresh off of filming Wicked, the movie musical that may or may not actually be released has decided to release new music, and well, meh.

It’s a dancey house-music track whose video is HEAVILY influenced by Paula Abdul that some are coining her “Vogue Era”. And now that I mention it—can everybody stop throwing that around? Not every dance track is a Vogue Era. Vogue was a huge moment in history and human rights for the queer community and this—is not that. Besides, I hear something else actually. Remnants of Britney Spears’ Piece of Me.

17 years ago (yes 17… can you believe it???) Britney Spears’ life was in shambles. Hounded by the paparazzi, body shamed, in a conservatorship, everyone was pissing her off and trying to make money off her and she just wanted to live her life, whether she was on the scene or sneaking away to the Philippines. And she should have been able to! She wasn’t hurting anyone! The same cannot be said of other people with ponytails at this juncture in their career.

In the video Grande makes it a point to hire actors as naysaying critics who are out to get her, and if you remember correctly, this isn’t the first time she’s hit out at critics.

There’s a lyric “don’t comment on my body/ do not reply / your business is yours / and mine is mine” — and sure, she’s right! You cannot be an artist who puts out art who thinks they’re above criticism. Also, it’s very faux activism! But for a white Italian woman who has morphed races with the help of filler and tanning to profit off the aesthetic of black culture, and then to wipe all that away to become Korean. Girl.

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But if we’re really talking about the song… It’s a very catchy, melodic beat without any real substance. The lyrics are full of nothing. Does she want people to leave her alone about her new relationship? Well, that’s not likely babe. You’re a celebrity!

People don’t forget sweetheart! Spongebob’s wife was NOT HAPPY!

Some Twitter users are invoking the Queen Mother’s past transgressions, and to that, I say this—Ariana Grande is not, nor will EVER be Julia Roberts. PERIOD.

Julia is still with the man she stole decades later, and it’s the simple fact that she’s Julia Roberts! She can do no wrong! This isn’t the first time Ariana has slept with someone else’s man (and yes the men are also culpable here) so she doesn’t get that goodwill, that benefit of the doubt of being an otherwise good person like Julia Roberts does. Julia Roberts is America’s Sweetheart!!! Anyway, listen to a real hit.

Anyway, speaking of Mother Roberts, read this interview she recently did with British Vogue—it’s great. Have a good weekend!