Britney Spears Breaks Her Silence And Announces Date For Tell-All Memoir

You could say I'm... Anticipating it

Sarah Polley was right—women ARE talking, but they’re also writing!

The Princess of Pop has finally announced a date for the forthcoming memoir that has been widely whispered and speculated about, most recently around the time her flop—I mean sister Jamie Lynn Spears’ own memoir last year.

The title of the memoir is The Woman In Me—and while I love Britney like a best friend from High School who you ditched class with and then came back at lunch with McDonalds (I only ditched class one time ever—I was in AP courses and didn’t have time to be fooling around) but the title, and the book cover are both, bad. I mean is it terrible, horrible, no good, very bad? No. But it could use some work.

The Cons

• The Title: It’s not great, and hearing it, it’s not something I would immediately associate with Britney Spears, or the struggles she’s been going through for the last 10+ years. It just sounds like she ate a woman who is trying to get out—like a Jonah and the Whale situation. Ugh, let’s not talk about a Jonah. It’s like a James and the Giant Peach situation! Let her out!

• The Font: Whoever chose that font should be dragged to the middle of the town square and beat over the head with a wet fish. What is going ON! I would walk right past that in a book store. It doesn’t stand out, and with such a dark background, it should!

• The Body Language: The idea that she’s covering up says a lot about the content and context of the book, but her body in relation to the words just doesn’t convey that.

• The Spacing: What is it with people and issues with typeface these days? I mean I have long said book covers are in their flop era but SERIOUSLY, even movie posters. The release date spacing in Oppenheimer’s movie poster makes ME want to create a bomb and blow MYSELF up! It’s SO awkward!

The Pros

• The Photographer: They chose a fantastic photo from a photoshoot by iconic photographer Herb Ritts—and now that I mention it, I feel like way too many people don’t know his work. He was an amazing gay photographer who lived through the AIDS crisis. If there was a huge celebrity, or anything/anyone beautiful to be seen, Herb photographed them. He changed the fashion industry with his photos, and his celebrity and nude/human form photos are unparalleled.

  

  Richard Gere in 1977 by Herb Ritts

  

  Yes, this iconic photo of THEE supermodels from 1989 was taken by Herb Ritts

I just realized that was the only Pro, lololol. Anyway, I wouldn’t be myself if I were just criticizing without it being constructive, so I retitled, and redesigned the book cover keeping the same elements, and improving upon them.

Instead of “The Woman In Me” — I went with Under-protected as a nod to her iconic song from her self-titled Britney album, tying it in to her conservatorship, but also just her years in the music industry where too few artists are actually cared for, especially young women. I deepened the pink of the title, and repositioned it, so there is an added layer of protection.

Personally, I think mine is better (because it is) but side by side, I mean come on.

Anyway, there’s still time for her team (assuming she has one) to fix it, before October 24th, 2023 when the book actually releases. But you can pre-order it here!

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