Clarence Thomas is a Terrible Supreme Court Justice, But He’s America’s Best Geriatric Sugar Baby
He’s living the glamorous life Fergie was talking about
G-L-A-M-O-R-OUS, yeah—
I don’t know if y’all know this, but the life of a sugar baby is hard. You have to go shopping at high-end boutiques and talk to regular people (yuck) while you wait for a sales associate to deliver your new Birkin. When you’re not doing that you have to take private jets or first class Emirates flights to whatever locale your mystery business man is doing business in. I don’t even have to mention the fact that you have to get Morpheus8 treatments to make sure your skin doesn’t EVER look a day over 24 years and 8 months old—and when worst comes to ABSOLUTE worst—you have to actually give your sugar daddy some sugar.
What if I told you I wasn’t describing the life of a blonde 23 year-old living in LA, dining at the now defunct SUR restaurant. What if I told you that—besides to the whole nice skin thing—I was actually describing the lifestyle of America’s 78 year-old Associate Supreme Court Justice and geriatric sugar baby, Clarence Thomas. I was SHOCKED honey.
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