Even though Beyoncé won’t release a video for the song, it is indeed CUFF IT season.
I know it may not seem like it for those of you who are still waiting to hear back from that one guy who hit you up and said “we should get drinks sometime” even though “sometime” is as vague a date as March 31st. It literally doesn’t exist. BE SPECIFIC!
And y’all know how much I’ve been wanting to see Theo James do gay kissing but, Mike White hates bisexual queer black men of colour I guess!!! You can follow along with Ep6 of The White Lotus with this thread tho. Also, leave a comment on who you think is the dead body in next week’s episode!!!
Anyways, SOME OF US are actually out here kissing. But MOST OF US simply WANT to do kissing! And whatever Lola wants, baby that’s what Lola is gonna GET!
But now that I mention it — since I’ve been talking about Glen Powell a lot lately, do y’all remember that movie Everybody Wants Some!! (they have the extra punctuation in their title that Don’t Worry Darling SHOULDA HAD) he did in 2016? Well I brought it up to him a couple weeks ago and he couldn’t believe people watched it, and like, not to be rude, it’s the best movie he’s ever done, so maybe he could acknowledge it a little bit more.
ANYWAYS. It was very homoerotic and every few scenes it felt like we were gonna get a gay kissing scene, but Richard Linklater (the film’s director) said, I don’t think so! Love might win over THERE, but over HERE? Oh please believe she’s a fucking LOSER babe! Par exemple:
And speaking of sports — I’m actually convinced that footballers have the World Cup simply to get together and yearn to kiss each other in dimly lit rooms. It’s like Lindsay Lohan when she throws a party in Mykonos. What else are you gonna do girl? It’s like back in 2012 when The Olympics happened and Grindr literally crashed cause so many gymnasts wanted to get their horses pommeled (that was a good line, I ate with that lol) and I for one say let them eat cake!
“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?” The Killers were ahead of their time with that. But they were right, these footballers INVENTED romance and wanting to kiss, they in Qatar tho, so it had to wait until they were in the locker room.
And less than a fortnight later, these footballers said “actually, love DOES win!” they wanted to do gay kissing too, but the media simply wouldn’t let that happen!
And while their straddling was hot, I wonder why they don’t just kiss already! Like, take one for the team (me) and endanger your life a lil bit simply for my satisfaction, is that SO MUCH to ask? I just think they’re being a lil bit selfish, that’s all I’m saying. And I’m not the only one! Ben Kingsley’s hot son (who I want to kiss) also wants them to kiss. You gon spit on Ben Kingsley’s son’s shoes and tell him it’s raining? I don’t think. Unless he’s into that sort of thing, then maybe I can oblige — um ANYWAYS
The son in question with a chunky knit sweater and a dog. He wont me so BADDD
Let’s bring the 90’s back, because the music, the clothes, and the kissing were better.
Honourable Mention
Every Kiss Begins with K (short for kill I think!!!)
Jennifer Coolidge you in DANGER girl! An honestly, her lil annoying assistant might be too! And not to victim blame, but this is why you don’t go cavorting around strange places with boys from ESSEX! Girl are you MAD? Anyways, I’m glad SOMEBODY in The White Lotus is doing some kissing because it’s OBVIOUSLY not gonna be Theo James and Will Sharpe’s characters.
Somebody Did MORE Than Kissing!
Keke Palmer is PREGNANT. This weekend while hosting SNL with special guest “performer” SZA who “sang” some of her “new music” she revealed her baby bump, much like Beyoncé did at the VMAs. Remember when Beyoncé used to go to the VMAs? Chile things have certainly changed around here.
The Lady and the Tramp
Speaking of doing more than kissing, Emma Corrin and Jack O’Connell star in Netflix adaptation Lady Chatterley’s Lover and child they doing more than kissing and making love! They having a rumble in the JUNGLE! Okay it’s not the jungle, more like a garden in the English countryside, still. It’s good AND sexy!
When Harry Met
SallyMeghanPrincess Meghan Markle and her husband have finally released the trailer for their long awaited project with Netflix. I worry for her even more cause the wrinkled, racist people who don’t want to hear about her keep doing things to SPECIFICALLY hear about her!!! Make it make sense!
I’m in Sweden (again) so I am keeping up this newsletter in a whole nother time zone!!! Hello! Let’s celebrate THAT. It’s called running a BUSINESS.
Don’t Mention It
The War On Christmas
Spotify Wrapped (they need to get a new creative director chile)
Michelle Yeoh’s team filing unemployment instead of working for her Oscar campaign like they SHOULD BE DOING
Did I Forget To Mention
Asa Butterfield, Sex Education’s Otis (and Merlin’s Mordred) is in a Christmas romcom, he said one thing about ME??? I want a woman of COLOUR!!!! I haven’t watched this movie but I’ll watch it in time for the post at the end of the week.
The Playlist
I’ve decided to change up the playlist, and instead of making it so literal, make it the VIBE of the theme. You feel me? I knew you would.
Thank you for subscribing to Now That I Mention It — and now that I mention it, thank you for being a friend.
Oh my god, I’ve spent ten minutes parsing the SNL paragraph for SZA subtext 😨
I feel like it’s going to be Ethan? Or maybe Ethan and Cameron?