A Transcript of My ALLEGED Testimony at Gwyneth Paltrow's Trial
The Goop, the whole Goop, and nothing but the Goop
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Everyone who’s anyone knows that I—like Kelly Bensimon of RHONY fame—am good friends with Gwyneth Paltrow.
Surely you have heard of the awful allegations against my bestie (not the ones about stuffing a jade egg up your vagina, or the bone broth, the skiing allegations) but if one can’t go skiing in the boring locale of Park City, Utah—what, pray tell, is one meant to do with one’s time?!?!
As such, I am sharing with you a CLASSIFIED transcript of my ALLEGED testimony at the trial of Gwyneth Paltrow.
The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final.
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