Is It Too Early To Start Thinking About New Year’s Resolutions?

I couldn’t help but wonder

I’m typing this right into my browser because my travel life has been a MESS! Anyway—

I am always thinking.

Generally I’m thinking about how I can usurp James Marsden’s agent and get him the filmography he deserves, but when the first week of December rolls around, I STOP thinking about that, and START wondering if I’ve wasted my day, my week, my month, or even my year.

I don’t remember the first time I ever made a New Year’s resolution, or the last time to be honest, I usually start by taking a look at myself and making a change immediately, taking a page from Michael Jackson’s smash hit chart topping number 1 song Man in the Mirror—so the whole idea of New Year’s Resolutions feel a bit superfluous to me.

But hypothetically, if a crazy, sexy, cool version of me WERE to make a new year’s resolution, I feel like I would have to put it off until the last week of December, no? Who knows what could happen in my life between now and then. Who I could smooch. What I could be offered. What I could write! This panic probably comes from a good place, a place of tradition, a place of putting myself through the joy of watching the first Bridget Jones, the melankalee of watching the second, and the earned closure of watching the third.

Because if I’m being honest, BJ and I have a lot in common:

1. We have both fantasized about shagging Hugh Grant

2. We have both fantasized about shagging Colin Firth

3. We both keep a diary

That’s kind of where the similarities end, but to be fair, that’s still a lot! Bridget is kind of an inspiration. She makes ME want to be a better woman.

Anyway, am I a little 2000-and-late when it comes to resolutions? Are resolutions even worthwhile if they’re not generic (get in shape, cancel my NYT subscription, get my life together) or do they have to be more specific (stop standing outside of Jonathan Bailey’s townhouse in the bushes waiting for him to notice me) I don’t know—I just feel like if 2024 can’t handle me at my worst self, it doesn’t deserve me at my best self!!!