James Marsden CanNOT Catch A Break
First they came for Dane DeHaan and I said nothing
Hello dear readers, sorry this post is late, I am currently in Amsterdam attempting to rectify my Irish holiday that never was, so please excuse the tardiness!
Anyway, surely those of you in the know have heard the news (no not that our saviour is born) that Ronald, putz of FOUR TIME Emmy nominated Freevee TV series Jury Duty has scored an all overall deal with Amazon/MGM.
Now, you, much like myself maybe asking yourself how is HE the one who gets the deal when he wasn’t even in on the joke? He wasn’t doing any acting, and he was literally just a bystander in the whole ruse. It’s like giving an Academy Award to an extra when Cillian Murphy was the one who was telling Emily Blunt to bring in the sheets!
It’s like Robin Williams in The Birdcage giving a tour de force performance going back-and-forth between playing a gay man with a hairy chest and heterosexual man with a mustache and the Academy says “You know who we should nominate? The birdcage. The actual, literal birdcage…” that’s how fucking stupid this is.
What does this man know about producing? What does he know about creating content? Not to be rude to James Marsden, but Ronald‘s favorite movie is Sex Drive. SEX DRIVE! Are you taking the piss?
In the spirit of Christmas , don’t Pass Over the chance to get your stocking and inbox stuffed by taking 20% off a year subscription! Besides, like PBS, this newsletter is made possible in part by readers like you and Willa Ford! Happy Holidays!
Anyway, this is nothing new to James. And in the words of Felicity Huffman detailing how the police—the FBI actually—came into her house and pointed guns in her face after she did the whole college admissions scandal thing for her daughter, nothing new to the black and brown community! Nothing new at all!
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears! I don’t know who I—nay, we have to call to get James a new agent or a new manager or a new congress person, but we need to do it now, more than ever.
This man is talented, he cannot be relegated to doing weird animated films that somehow people actually watch (I won’t lie. I have a literally watched his entire filmography—it’s called supporting your man!) where he’s the human sidekick, because the craziest part in all of this, is that he’s not even the titular character! It’s not Sonic The Hedgehog and James the Man with Sharp Cheekbones. It’s not Hop the Rabbit and James, The Man with Eyes Like The Deep Blue See. He’s not even on the marquee.
Somebody get me to a fainting couch. Anyway, watch Enchanted, or The D Train in his honour.
Truth!!! You've reminded of how as Teddy in Westworld, your man devoured every scene he was in, this in a very loud, crowded, hard to devour show stacked with marquee names, where his character's arc was to basically... die over and over again.
I do maintain he is one of the ten most handsome currently alive men.