Joe Alwyn Needs A Wellness Check
He not out of the woods yet
***this post is a day late because I wanted to watch Ghosted and tell y’all about it, but—I’m still in shock from Ana de Armas’ wig, my therapist is going to hear a LOT about this trauma***
Uncoupling—whether consciously, or unconsciously—is hard.
As a bipolar Gemini, I’m a BIG supporter of change. Sometimes, when you feel like you’re always stuck in second gear, when it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month—or even your year, you gotta do something different. You gotta stand up on your own two feet and do like Beyoncé said—go in the back of your closet to pull out your freakum dress. What I’m not in support of however—is skipping your skincare routine.
This is a safe space, so I’m allowed to be a little mean here, and honestly, it’s not even mean! It’s for his own good! Think of it as a “skintervention”. Anyway, the tall drink of lukewarm water that is Joe Alwyn clearly needs help—in the form of a foaming facial cleanser, a moisturizer, and an eye serum. These bags? Baby they’re not designer.
In my post breakup experience (although I’ve never been broken up with, I have tried to get the attention of a dog whose owner wouldn’t let them talk to me, so basically that’s the same thing), the worse you feel, the more you should pamper yourself. You might feel like shit now, but it will pass. And guess what? When it does, you can tell Netflix NO, I’m NOT still watching, turn off Bridget Jones’ Diary, throw the Talenti containers in the recycling bin, and move ON!
Maybe it’s a little different for him seeing as though he was dating one of the most famous women in the world, who has also dated other men and written songs about them, but where there’s a will—there should also be hyaluronic acid, Tretinoin, and DON’T forget the sunscreen!
Seeing him like this, hair looking a MESS, ain’t seen a wash in weeks, lips chapped like he hasn’t had a drop of water or a pamplemousse La Croix since the dawn of time, jeans looking like he ripped them off Huckleberry Finn, and boots looking like he stole them off The Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz, it’s a mess honey. But the kicker—the reaaaaallll sad thing is him walking around with that cardigan (even though he’s wearing a grody fleece and it clearly looks like a nice spring day) is truly just so—sad. Alexa play Cardigan by Taylor Swift.
I will respect his privacy at this time.
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That cardigan looks like something Charlie Brown would wear. He looks like he got dragged by a bus.
This is how I roll in my world. Although I definitely agree with you about NEVER foregoing a good skin care routine, I have not the faintest idea who Joe Alwyn is nor who he dated but I can get the Taylor Swift drift. Also agreed, he does look rough! Very insightful update though.