Lindsay Lohan Is With Child!
And it’s NOT the one she tried to steal
Lindsay Lohan is many things.
She is a Pop Star. She is an iconic actress. She is the owner of a now defunct beach club in Mykonos, and she is TIRED of rumors starting. What isn’t a rumor however, is the fact that Lindsay Lohan is about to be a mother.
In an Instagram post, Lohan shared a very basic onesie with an awful font teasing she had a bun in the oven. I just feel like, surely we could have done better than that, no? I mean to each their own—I’m just glad she didn’t do one of those obnoxious gender reveals.
If you—like me—are a fan of the Oscar deserving performances Miss Lohan gave as a teeny, tiny, ginger-haired troublemaker in The Parent Trap (1998) then you—like me—couldn’t be happier about this news. Paws up Georgia Rule-rs! This one’s for you Teenage Drama Queens!
There’s much to be said about the 180 Lindsay has done with her career, and private life as of late. She recently starred in the holly, jolly, campy Christmas film Falling for Christmas, a filmé that was SO BAD it was, how you say—magnifique. A filmé that had me—a fashion savant—googling if “Valenyagi”, the designer oft named dropped from the lips of Miss Lohan while wearing some questionable pieces was real. (Spoiler alert he isn’t.) A filmé whose plot, whose premise, whose acting, whose inclusion of Chord Overstreet (was NO ONE ELSE available) baffled, but entertained me nonetheless.
While most of us without selective memory may remember her Instagram Live fiasco overseas wherein she tried to steal children from an unhoused woman (however pure her intentions may have been) it was a dark moment for her!
Lately though, it seems she has turned things around, tying the knot with fiancé Bader Shammas last year, quietly, which isn’t something I would have expected! She was recently seen front row at Paris fashion Week (looking STUNNING) supporting Christian Siriano.
Queen of networking, she was also rubbing elbows with Quinta Brunson—and now that I mention it—worlds are colliding, are they not?
I come up with amazing filmé loglines all the time, but this one? It was MADE for me
At any rate, I wish her the best, and I will also send her a list of names I think she should choose, starting off with Aranciata Rossa. I will be live-tweeting my rewatch of Just My Luck tonight at 7:30pm EST. See you there Lil’ Lohans and Pine Nuts!
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God this was a good post. I'm instantly obsessed with this substack.