Magic Mike Will NOT Be Showing His Magic Pipe
Last dance? More like what's in them last PANTS?!
I’m just gonna say it, male nudity is in its flop era, and NOT in a good way!
Dedicated readers may remember my issue with Infinity Pool and the geographically inaccurate prosthetic used for Alexander Skarsgård, meanwhile, Mia Goth popped her REAL titty out and was breast feeding him. Where is the equality????
And now, as you may, or may not have heard, Steven Soderbergh revealed there will not, and I repeat THERE WILL NOT be any nudity in Magic Mike’s Last Dance. If I was him, I wouldn’t have revealed that. I woulda took y’all money and let y’all find out on your own! But it’s very evident he don’t know how to run a business.
Here’s the thing, there’s been a lot of discourse going around about how sex scenes should be taken out of movies because they “don’t advance the plot” or are “useless”. Sounds like something somebody who isn’t having sex would say! Why would you put two very hot people in a film together, and don’t let them finger pop each other’s assholes? Especially when THIS is the source material! Stop censoring them!
Salma Hayek and Channing Tatum should ABSOLUTELY be humping, and bumping, and grinding all over those travertine floors, and sixty-nine-ing all over her imported Calcutta marble. Otherwise, what’s the point in being a sugar mama? I know she ain’t with him so he can read her bedtime stories, the boy can barely read! He’s from FLORIDA!!!
Also, the point of the story is that he’s a stripper (or exotic dancer) who STRIPS. Take them clothes OFF!!! You telling me NO ding-a-lings is swinging in the boys locker room? There’s no locker room talk going on in a room full of sweaty, oily men with whose abs glisten in the glow of the purple lights? Grow UP Steven!!!
Furthermore, do we need to bring up Channing’s ACTUAL career as an exotique dancer??? Why is Steven trying to erase his past?
Do you think he was worried about a lil nudity when he was a private dancer, dancing for money? I don’t think.
Do you think he was worried about nudity when he was poppin his bussy all on these excited young ladies? I don’t think so! Once again, grow UP Steve!
Anyways, I guess we’ll always have his VMan shoot. Please respect my privacy at this time.
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I simultaneously love and can’t STAND you! This is important and hilarious commentary.
“GROW UP, Stevie!” ☠️