If HBO Won't Let Theo James Do Gay Kissing, The LEAST They Could Do Is Kill That Assistant
Send her to the unemployment line!
I threw the first brick at The White Lotus.
I have been painstakingly advocating for the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy on the set of HBO’s The White Lotus to be removed and lobbying for them to replace it with a #LoveWins Instagram post every June, and you know what? It’s truly the second least they could do. I want to ask. And I need Theo to tell me. I need it so bad.
The FIRST least they could do is kill that muthafucking assistant. WHEW. She get on my NERVES! Your boss brought you along on an all expenses is paid for vacation, and all you have to do is maybe get her a eucalyptus towel or hide some macarons under your pillow so her husband won’t know she’s sneaking them. It’s the bare fucking minimum assistant girl!
Instead, all you keep doing is complaining, putting on blue eyeliner, and wearing the ugliest outfits I’ve ever seen in my LIFE. You wanna be Lizzie McGuire so bad and it’s NEVER gonna happen babe!!! Embarrassing for you to be imitating a middle schooler.
Not only is this girl a bad assistant, but she literally has the worst discernment skills anyone has ever seen. Like is that boy from Essex cute? Yes. Do he got a nice bottom? Also yes. BUT HE’S FROM ESSEX and he’s FUCKING HIS “UNCLE”. PLUS he is making you neglect your job (the very reason you’re ON this trip) and you just letting him do whatever he wanna do. Not to mention y’all are dining and dashing, stiffing hardworking Italianx waiters when you know damn well you can pay for that Gnocchi that cost €2! It’s giving cheap, with no home training. I knew she was that girl.
But what’s more, Essex Booty Butt Boy literally told you that the man you knew as his uncle wasn’t in fact his uncle, and that there was something sinister going on, and you just sat there looking at his drunk ass like this. YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS MISS GIRL!
If you don’t reach in his pocket, get them keys, and get OUT of there to save Tanya I know sumn. And then you can crash your car for all I care. RIP girl.
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