Mark Wahlberg's Image Rehab Attempt No. 3992385 Involves A Dog, and Simu Liu

Not even man's best friend can save him

Mark Wahlberg is desperate.

And you may be thinking to yourself, what else is new? While you’re correct, he’s even MORE desperatererer than before—this time, going so low as to add a dog to his list of victims he’s roped into rehabilitating his image—which I took personally.

I canNOT in fact excuse hate crimes, but you get it

Over the holiday weekend, I saw a LOT of movies. American Fiction, The Iron Claw, American Fiction again, The Color Purple (more on my opinion of these later)—and before each and every one of them, this agitating, grating voice kept coming on the screen. Mark Wahlberg promoting his new film Arthur The King.