M3GAN Is The Ride or Die (Literally) BFF Everyone Deserves

Chucky could NEVER

***This post doesn’t contain spoilers, I mean, not really? Like, it’s a movie about a robot in a synthetic wig that goes psycho, how much mystery could there be babe?***

“There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women” -Madeleine Albright.

If anyone knows anything about hell, it’s Madeleine, because girl — just google her. The thing about M3GAN (Model 3 Generative ANdroid — they really phoned it in with this acronym) is that she didn’t do anything wrong, actually. She was made in a lab to be the bestie of this lil girl whose parents just died (that scene made me emotional tbh) and now all of a sudden SHE’S the problem? I don’t think babe, sorry.

Meech @MediumSizeMeech

Not I cried watching M3GAN

Like, is it her fault Gemma ( I love that name, but that character is NOT a Gemma) was a bad aunt who was a nerd with weird little toys she never played with? It’s giving female incel. Incella, if you will. Anyways, she built this doll for that lil girl to play with, and all of a sudden she’s TOO friendly. She’s TOO involved in conversations. She’s TOO attached to Cady ( her parents must have been Mean Girls stans) she’s killing TOO many people. I guess Gemma want that glass ceiling to stay intact! Gemma saw Women Talking and said NOT IN MY HOUSE! She prolly want women to be rarely seen, and never heard. Madeleine Albright would love her to be honest.

When she started doing the voices to this book I kinda died laughing a little bit. Like, she is really and truly a good friend. Photo: MovieStillsDB

I don’t wanna say sometimes kids be having bad vibes, but Cady had bad vibes. Plus she was homeschooled. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE.

M3GAN said I came to SLAY, literally. Honestly, she chewed. Blair Waldorf found dead in a ditch, strangled by her headband. Photo: MovieStillsDB

I have to give it to her, even tho she has blue eyes, and a synthetic wig, she’s serving.

M3GAN said do you HEAR what I’m saying little boy??? Photo: MovieStillsDB

This part got a lil wacky — her bony ass hands in them gloves stretching his ear like a condom Michael Fassbender is about to use. She should have just ripped them clean off like Mike Tyson. It’s an iconic moment for a reason babe. Remember that.

M3G said girl this story is BORING. Photo: MovieStillsDB

Honestly, if MY best friend had a friend who wanted them to ignore me, I would get a little violent too. Like, have some couth babe. Have some fucking couth.

***Prince Harry’s book is dropping tomorrow, so the post for later this week will basically be all about that, so tune in bestie!***

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