To: All The Lovers
From: Meech
A great philosopher once said “Don’t wanna break your heart, wanna give your heart a break” and honestly? Tea.
Valentine’s Day should not make you feel bad. Even if you WERE lonely last year too. Even if you DID sit under your duvet eating those expired Lady Gaga Chromatica Oreos, sleeve by sleeve even though you know damn well they not supposed to taste like that. Even if you DID stalk your ex’s Instagram looking at their new boo and say “they ain’t me tho” while the Oreo crumbs fell from your mouth onto your tear-soaked sheets. It doesn’t matter!
The thing about Valentine’s Day is that we literally turned someone’s pain and death into a holiday about love, flowers, and chocolate covered fruit. I know Saint Valentine like “damn, y’all really don’t care about men’s mental health, huh?”
At any rate, it’s literally just another day. The person you love (who hopefully loves you back, not on some Joe from YOU vibes) should make you feel special ALL THE TIME. Not just one day a year. And feeling special starts with you too, because as a tall talking skeleton once said “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gon love somebody else?”
So give yourself (and your heart) a break, relax, order an Edible Arrangement, and watch one (or all) of my Valentine’s Day recs.
Here are my top 5 Valentine’s Day filmés to get you through the night.
Valentine’s Day — I know it’s a bit cliché to watch a movie called Valentine’s Day ON Valentine’s Day, but are you gonna make your own list or what? Anyway, this movie has EVERYTHING, Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper, Julia Roberts wearing cowl neck sweaters (2010 was WILD) and Bradley Cooper wearing tiny vests and having a gay lover. This movie has a million celebrities for no reason, and it’s SO bad it’s good. The perfect recipe for a lovely night in.
Bradley Cooper being bashful, he so embarrassed! Love him Photo: Screenshot Before Sunrise — This movie is a staple in the White People Falling In Love genre. It’s perfect. And their anniversary is also my birthday! Ethan Hawke wanna kiss me SO BAD. Also, in hindsight (but also foresight) Julie Delpy is crazy as hell frolicking around at night with this man she JUST MET who jumped off his train to be with her in a country she DOESN’T LIVE IN. But if I saw a young Ethan Hawke, I can’t lie — I would make some bad decisions too.
This is the epitome of that Justin Bieber song As Long As You Love Me being broke and still loving each other. CAN’T RELATE Photo: Screenshot And Then We Danced — I cannot say enough good things about this movie. It’s so fucking good. Foreign films have this ability to engross you in a culture so quickly — this one is about Georgian Dance (the country, not Atlanta) and it’s strangers to enemies to lovers and it WILL break you. If you thought Episode 3 of The Last of Us was sad, you not ready for this. But watch it anyway.
Much Ado About Nothing — Look at this photo. That’s all you need to know.
I’ve never wanted to whip my d—sword out so fast. They both could absolutely get it. The Lake House — Strangely, this is another Keanu entry, but Sandra Bullock is living the life I want. First of all she has a lake house. Secondly, she keeps finding these men who are dying (Practical Magic) in a coma (While You Were Sleeping) or actually dead (this movie) and having these amazing, but fleeting romances with them. I wanna write letters to a hot dead man too!!! Stop gatekeeping!!!
Sandra Bullock got a dead man writing her letters and SOME of y’all can’t even get a text back!!!
And remember — the best thing about Valentine’s Day is that tomorrow, all the candy will be half off.
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