Un Ticket to Paradise S'il Vous Plait!
I'm tryna see some oui oui
My weekend was highjacked by white women. As a hot and sexcy New Yorker is often wont to do on an autumnal Saturday, I went shopping and stopped by The Row Sample Sale to support my favourite white women, and fellow mentally ill Gemini sisters Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It was CHAOS. I had to leave. Then, on my way to see Ticket to Paradise starring Julia Roberts and her beautiful smile, I stopped to buy a candle at Jo Malone, a white woman with exquisite taste who actually doesn’t even own that company anymore, and the whole way there I was listening to MidnighTS, the new release from Tayla Swiff. On the way back as I waited for a train that was delayed thirty-seven minutes, I listened to Tove Lo’s Dirt Femme. I felt so powerful.
Not to be all Slave Play, but white women really saved me this week. It’s been almost ninety days since Beyoncé released act: i of her smash hit number 1 chart topping album Renaissance, and do we have any videos to go along with them? No. Tour dates? Also no. But you know what I did have? Julia Roberts in all her glory back in a RomCom. When we needed her most, she was there.
As y’all may well know, I do not like George Clooney. I think he is boring and poorly dressed and his tequila is nasty, but I try to keep my biases to myself! Sadly, he was also in this movie. If Mama Julia considers him a friend, I guess I have to not hate him entirely, but that does NOT mean I have to like him. The thing about this movie — I mean, the premise is top tier RomCom trope: Divorced parents come together for the greater good (their daughter) to stop her from making a mistake (marrying a dude she’s known for two months in a country she’s never been to. White people is CRAZY) ultimately helping them realize they’re better off together. “Why save the good stuff?” Julia says in this film — and to be honest, I feel the same way. Why did they save the good stuff? Cause it definitely wasn’t in this movie!!! It wasn’t terrible, but…
Julia was great, obvi — George was his usual boring self, but chile her daughter and the daughter’s fiancee???? SNOREFEST. BORING. NO CHEMISTRY. DOA. They definitely don’t fuck. What happened to charisma? The daughter’s boyfriend was cute, but also had no charisma. That Emily in Paris boy was also in this movie and got to kiss Julia Roberts MULTIPLE TIMES. How does it feel, to live MY DREAMS. This RomCom also didn’t have a good soundtrack. I get it, when you come back, it’s not always easy to come back swinging. One thing about Julia tho? She’s got more up her sleeve. Believe that! Mama has eleven (11) count em, ELEVEN projects coming up.
On Friday at midnight, the same week I rewatched The Rules of Attraction, Taylor Swift released her album Midnights using the corny as hell hashtag #TSMidnighTS to promote it, and she’s already broken records for the highest streaming in one day in Spotify’s history. I gave a quick synopsis of what I thought about it, but here are my final thoughts.
Midnights Bad Bitch tier:
Lavender Haze
Anti-Hero
Snow on the Beach
Midnight Rain
Midnights Mid Bitch Tier:
Vigilante Shit
Midnights Broke Bitch Tier:
Maroon
You’re On Your Own Kid
Question…?
Bejeweled
Labyrinth
Karma
Sweet Nothing
Mastermind
I give Midnights 6/10. Taylor is better than this, it feels like 1989 (which was the baddest bitch) redux — that era was great for her, but now it feels like she’s going backwards. Folklore and Evermore? Great, iconic, amazing. Also, the drama surrounding the Anti-Hero video does not bode well for her, but she’s topping the charts, so there’s that!
***TW ED***
And on October 14th, Tove Lo released Dirt Femme, and chile on the seventh day even God rested but Tove Lo said “NO! THERE’S STILL MORE TO DO!” This album, much like her previous albums is very good. I do think it’s a bit more of a personal journey for her though, especially with songs like ‘Grapefruit’ which is MY favourite from the album. It chronicles her battle with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder, and she really just lays it all out there, bare. I really was bopping along because it’s SUCH a good song, and then I listened to the lyrics more closely and was like damn, a good song AND a message. Scandinavian KWEEN.
Dirt Femme Bad Bitch Tier:
The whole damn album. No skips!
Dirt Femme Mid Bitch Tier:
N/A
Dirt Femme Broke Bitch Tier:
N/A
Thank you white women. I am listening. I am learning. I got my ticket for the long way round. Now, if you could talk to your leader Nancy Meyers and tell her to hurry the fuck up with that new RomCom??? That would be great. Thanks luv.
Honourable Mention
A New Bombshell Has Entered The Villa
Last week, I took a poll and asked you, dear readers if you’d like to see more fashion in this newsletter, and y’all said yes like I was proposing to you or something. It’s giving desperate. But I will be introducing a new fashion section into the Thursday paid posts of Now That I Mention It with no filter (as if I have a filter on Twitter) so look for that in a few days!
Maybe Magazine Covers Are Back
I don’t know who Vic Mensa is or what he does, but his cover with L’Officiel Australia was conjuring up some feelings in my nether regions! The spread is fine, but he looked sexy in it, and really — what more does one need!
Britney Spears was right! Lace and leather do be sexy Photo: L’Officiel Australia This TikTok which — is a JOURNEY
Don’t Mention It
I keep saying don’t mention
Kanye, and yet! He keeps getting mentioned!Drake’s ever-changing hairstyles
Saying “fall”
This M&M
Did I Forget To Mention
It’s The Great PUPkin Charlie Brown!
This weekend, a couple days before All Hallows Eve, I will be attending the Met Gala of Puppy Parties. The Critic’s Choice Awards for Canines. That’s right — The 24th Annual Great PUPkin Dog Costume Contest, and next Monday’s post will be dedicated EXCLUSIVELY to that.
Scents and Sensibility
OPEN UP YOUR PURSE! Diptyque has revealed their limited edition Pumpkin Candle Citrouille. And these go FAST so get thee to the store near you or the website! They also have other holiday themed candles. Take a look!
The theme for this week’s playlist is — Songs About Jane Julia Roberts
Thank you for subscribing to Now That I Mention It, and now that I mention it — thank you for being a friend.
that candle looks delishus