What HASN'T Jada Pinkett Smith Revealed, Chile

Do people not have secrets anymore?

Historically, when I’m invited into the warmth of a beautiful couple’s marriage, there is wine, escargot, oysters (not 48 of them) and a little foreplay involved.

But with Jada Pinkett Smith’s press tour for her new memoir Worthy, I feel like I’ve stepped into the Smith household and been forced to sit in the corner of their bedroom without being offered any sort of libation, to merely observe them in what should be a therapy session as if I were watching Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf—which is a great filmé actually, Elizabeth Taylor really slayed—and no one is having sex!

Everyone who has been released a memoir over the past year has felt the need to bring up The Slap, most recently Leslie Jones, and she wasn’t even THERE! For Jada though, I give her a bit more leniency, because, well—it was actually about her.

In an effort to garner interest for her book, the actress has stepped away from her red table, and taken us into her pantry to bequeath upon us certain juicy revelations. Here’s a non-exhaustive list of things Jada Has Revealed:

1. She and Will have been separated for seven years (all 15 people who read Will Smith’s book Will already knew this)

2. Tupac (who I share a birthday with, shoutout Geminis!) proposed to her from jail

3. The identity of the Zodiac killer

4. They have an open “marriage”

5. Who killed JonBenét Ramsey

6. She told him she was pregnant immediately after having sex

Number 6 for me was—you know, it’s a lot. I think I would feel unnerved too!

“As will laughed, Jada cried all night long” LOLOLOLOLO Screenshot from an article from the LA Times.

And now that I mention it—post coital talks are mostly meant for asking “what are we?” if you’re uncouth, and if you’re in a cishet relationship, it’s for the man to ask “did you cum?” — anyway, if you’re anything like me, it’s the time where you put on an episode of The Mindy Project (S1-3 only) because why? Because I have TASTE!

Anyway, some of the revelations weren’t shocking at all…

What WAS shocking is that there wasn’t a prenup! What a rookie mistake!!!

Again, so many of the things that she revealed were things we either already knew about, or don’t care about. But there are still things I want to know! Am I gonna read her book? No. But I just wanna throw these questions out there:

1. Who did y’all have the best threesome with?

2. Did Will ever dress up in his Wild Wild West costume for you?

3. Is there going to be a Hitch 2?

4. Do you still have all the coats from The Matrix?

5. What does Keanu Reeves smell like?

6. What is your favourite shower song?

7. Who did you have the worst threesome with?

Hopefully her publicist reads my newsletter and gets back to posthaste like Riley Keough’s publicist did. But that’s just between us girls!

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