Whitney WHOston?

A trailer for the biopic of the Queen of Soul just dropped, and I Have Nothing... nice to say

Few things (outside of Stuart Little, Mads Mikkelsen, and Oscar Isaac’s butt) interest more than the lives of celebrities. They’re just like us, but weirder! That doesn’t mean I want to know everything about everyone’s lives because without a little mystery, I — as a Gemini — will become bored and you will cease to exist to me. Do I need to know about your annoying, obviously fake PR relationship that you created as content for your Hulu show? No. I don’t want to keep up. Do I need to know about all the salacious details surrounding the film you’re starring in with your girlfriend who blew up her life for you — the same girlfriend you don’t even claim publicly? No, sorry darling, I’m not worried. Do I need to know about your weird rule of only “dating” women 24 and under? No, I already know more about the real goings-on than I wanted to! I’ve been to the beach, and it’s time to shutter that island.