Word Association Results!

Y'all asked, I associated

In lieu of the Friday post (because everything is BLEAK) and supposedly Joe Biden has an announcement to make today or over the weekend (is he gay? Is he the zodiac killer? Does he know who killed JonBenét Ramsey?) here are the results from the Word Association! Relax, breathe a little!

But before we get to that—Ashlee Simpson has released an expanded edition of her seminal 2004 album Autobiography that absolutely deserves a listen!

Beach

beach → beach bum → bum → booty → Adrien Brody getting his booty washed on a yacht in 2012

There are few things that happen on yachts that would surprise me, but I have to say Adrien Brody’s then girlfriend showering him down and getting in every nook and cranny (and crack) really threw me for a loop. She said you not bringing that salt water in THIS bed sweetie! But I have to respect her for it, if Twitter has taught me anything it’s that people do NOT be washing where they should!

Photo: Bauer-Griffin.com

Thighs

I mean this one didn’t really need a jump. There is one true photo that stirs me, and it’s Blake Griffin’s thighs spreading like peanut butter on warm toast. There is nothing I could say about this photo that wouldn’t get me banned from Substack, but I think you understand that want him to catch my head between his thighs and crack it like a walnut.

But also we can’t forget about these thighs from Paul Mescal. He might look different in the face, but the thighs are still thighing I fear!

Nanny

This also isn’t a very big leap, and I know a lot of y’all want me to talk about the Jude Law Nanny Scandal where he was cheating on his fiancee Sienna Miller who he met on the set of Alfie (fantastic film) and got engaged to a year later but I think it’s even crazy to cheat with your nanny and have a SECRET BABY BY HER like Arnold Schwarzen-word did with his nanny when he cheated on Maria Shriver. He hid the boy ( who is now a 26 year-old man named Joseph Baena) for years, but they now seem to be very friendly. I just feel like if you gon cheat:

A. Wear a condom you piece of shit!

B. Don’t cheat with someone in your fucking house!

C. Don’t hide your secret baby because it’s not their fault you cheated!

Hole

This might be a niche gay scandal, but the father from Wizards of Waverly Place David DeLuise had a HUGE scandal on Twitter when someone posted photos of his nudes where he was in—um, some extremely compromising positions showing off his hole-in-one on a hookup app.

Crush

My mind immediately goes to the Alicia Silverstone film The Crush (1993) that I always confuse with the 1996 film Fear starring Reese Witherspoon. Bother are always a great, insane watch. And now that I mention it—it reminds me of one of American Idol’s most talented contestants David Archuleta and his smash hit Crush.

Gaydar

Let’s just say I be knowin’

Market

Market → supermarket → fruit → drive by fruiting

Mrs. Doubtfire gave us so many amazing moments, but Robin Williams hitting Pierce Brosnan in the head with a piece of fruit has got to be one of the best. That line delivery, there’s nobody like him. I miss him every day.

Horse

I don’t remember a lot about Full House, for some reason I’ve wiped it from my brain, but I do remember the episode where Michelle is in her equestrian era and she falls off her horse, gets amnesia, and her brain splits in two creating the perfect opportunity for both Mary-Kate and Ashley to be on screen. My Gemini queens!

Kitten

Kitten → kitten heels → little brown bebe heels

Alexis Neiers, nasty lil girl from the Bling Ring wearing those Bebe kitten heels and NOT Louboutins!!!