You Survived Until 2025, Now What?

A few predictions

I’m here to tell you that 2025 is the year of being delusional.

Yes, you read that correctly, all of 2025 we’re being delusional. We’re dropping pessimism down the trash chute, and we’re NOT recycling self-doubt because why? Girl who gives a fuck, we’ve already been through too much. Anyway, since IN/OUT lists were out in 2022, here are a few predictions for 2025 that are worth mentioning.

• Lana Del Rey announces divorce and pregnancy on the same day

• Timothée Chalamet’s contract with the Kardashians concludes

• Dua Lipa (now engaged) elopes with Callum Turner and honeymoons for the next two years where she writes a new album about him that finally does well.

• Joshua Jackson enters another relationship while still failing to pay child support to Jodie Turner Smith

• Willa Ford Makes a comeback to music with a flop single, but the followup single is an absolute BANGER.

• Chappell Roan commits involuntary manslaughter of a CEO and record sales soar

• Chris Pine gets engaged to a woman, but calls it off months later (for obvious reasons)

• Me and Nosferatu kiss

• Beyoncé and Miley Cyrus perform II Most Wanted at the Grammys and she finally wins AOTY

• Wicked gets snubbed at the Oscars

• The Kardashians’ attempts to remain relevant continue to flounder and they finally call KUWTK quits.

• Angelina Jolie (now successfully divorced) enters into a relationship with a handsome younger man, and is papped on the beach with him around her birthday

• Bethenny Frankel overdoses on crab legs and has to get her stomach pumped, she posts TikToks of the whole ordeal

• Trump finds a way around the TikTok ban and takes credit for saving the app while pumping even more misinformation into society

• The Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni suit gets nastier and nastier until one of them posts incriminating evidence that contradicts their earlier assertion of events.

• Hollywood finally allows Theo James to be bisexual

• Amy Adams gets nominated for an Oscar at the tail end of the year and wins in 2026

  

• Charlie’s Angels Reunion

Anyway, hooray for 2025. Excited to see what she brings!