Always Remember Us this Way: Cruel Intentions

25 Years of Ryan Phillippe's booty

No one has ever lied more than Madonna back in 2005 when she chanted the melodic, incredibly iconic intonation that “time goes by… so slowly” because if that were at all true, then how has it been 25 years since Cruel Intentions was released?! Time FLEW BY girl!

Paid readers may remember last week when I wrote a post about great expectations adaptations, and while 10 Things I Hate About You was adapted from Big Willy Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, Cruel Intentions was adapted from Dangerous Liaisons (one thing about America? She’s gonna steal!) and imagined for a sexier, hotter, newer generation of deviants.

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Where Have All The (Good) Romcoms Gone

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But again, all adaptations are not created equal! *cough* Anyone But You *cough* — and I know as someone who loves movies (and is currently writing a romcom) I shouldn’t be slagging off other movies, but girl what do you expect me to do?! Anyway, it’s true that I love Cruel Intentions, but if I had to change one thing…

And now that I mention Ryan Phillippe, (does he really need two Ls AND two Ps in his name? It’s giving greedy. One or the other!!!) who is half of the reason why the film works so well, I implore you to check out the hard to find director’s cut of 54 (1998) it’s brilliant!

And I know he’s been steadily working in B and C projects, but we need him back in some salacious screen gems! “Blow me”? Don’t threaten Meech with a good time!

Mr. PhiLLiPPe getting out of the pool with his booty butt cheeks showing was one of those moments that lives forever in your mind, like mitochondria being the powerhouse of the cell, but instead of mitochondria, it’s his badonkadonk, and instead of the cell, it’s my fantasies. A butt that launched a thousand gay awakenings.

This what Jesus meant when he said turn the other cheek Photo: My spankbank

And we can’t mention icons without mentioning Sarah Michelle Gellar who was THEE girl of the moment. Her “taking communion” in the bathroom with necklace. Pious queen. It’s like Kylie Minogue said, you’ll never get to heaven if you’re scared of getting high!

And honestly, she doesn’t get NEARLY enough praise as a film actress, but also as a television actress from one of my favourite short-lived CW television series Ringer where she plays her own murdered twin with a sordid past who gets to kiss Ioan Gruffudd all she wants, I mean the poster alone is enough to make you love it! Justice for Ringer!

Anyway, I just think if there’s anything you do this weekend, it should be paying your respects to our favourite catholic schoolgirl. It’s what Sebastian would have wanted.