EMERGENCY POST: Harold Styles, Oscar Nominee???
He is NOTHING of the sort
I know I already put out a post this morning but this NEEDED to be said, and plus I didn’t feel like amending that post. Anyway, imagine my surprise as I’m scrolling through gossip website Twitter.com (which I rarely do, I am not very active on the platform, as you may well know) and I see a Variety article that — all jokes aside — says that Harold Styles, Emma Corrin, and David Dawson will be campaigned in the supporting categories for the 2023 Oscars for their film ACAB My Policeman. Now, correct me if I’m wrong (which I never am), but wasn’t that film torn apart? Critically panned? Ripped to SHREDS because its leading man couldn’t act??? Did I dream that?
The crazy thing is, I don’t feel bad for him. This wasn’t his first film because technically he already “acted” in Dunkirk and people were like “omg he was so good in that” when he BARELY SPOKE!!! He barely did anything really but look pensive. But if you’re a going into a new craft that you aren’t familiar with, the LEAST you can do is take a class or two. Hell, even HBO’s Barry did that! Buy Acting For Dummies! But he really waltzed right in with that accent knowing damn well not everyone GETS this opporchun’y. And he KEPT talking like that. And guess what? He put it all at risk.
Maybe this is a sick joke, a malicious ruse, a barbarous fête wherein Harold ends up on stage in some dreadful 70’s inspired Gucci ensemble, balding hair looking an ABSOLUTE MESS, and before he knows it, a bucket of pig’s blood is dumped over his head, drenching not only him, but his acting hopes and dreams, and he becomes what one can only describe as altogether besmeared in defeat. And trust — it won’t be like honey when it washes over him. I am shocked. Truly shocked. Then again, an untalented white man failing up should not surprise me in the least bit, so really, this is all my fault. And I have to live with that.
The film isn’t released until October 21st, so maybe they’re relying on the bewilderment of the public to repeat the frenzy of Don’t Worry Darling? I feel as though Don’t Worry Darling is my new Go Piss Girl. I can’t seem to get away from it. It follows me night and day. It lurks in the back of my closet, pressed between Italian linen suit jackets and wool overcoats. It hides behind doors, sneakily waiting to jump out and frighten me. It slumbers in my bedside table, next to the lube, just waiting for its chance to get near my no-no area and shout “AHA! I know you’re worried. Darling”
And guess what? I am.
I am worried*, darling.
*The original motion picture Don’t Worry Darling does not contain a comma, however, we in the literary community cannot stand idly by as gross instances of misconduct such as this continue to happen.
Thank you for adding the comma, it makes me SO uncomfortable when it's not there.
My personal favorite review headline said something like, "It's time to make a citizen's arrest on Harry Styles' acting career" 😂