Life Is Mayhem
Catching you up on my life, Gaga's new album, new shows, and saying RIP to Gwen Stefani
As Lil’ Kim once said—I was gone for a minute, now I’m back with the jump off!
It has been a long, stressful—but at times very enjoyable few weeks for me! I popped over to London, the ancestral home of Bridget Jones to see Jonathan Bailey in his play Richard II (sadly, unlike Bridget Jones, I did notget to bang Chiwetel Ejiofor OR Leo Woodall, yet! There’s still time) and to rest a bit, and thankfully, I kind of rested a lot… for a little bit anyway. Then it was back to the world. The show must go on!
And while I was there, for GQ, I interviewed Olivier Richters, the big(ger) baddie from S3 of Reacher—a show you should absolutely be watching on Prime Video where Alan Ritchson can barely find clothes that fit, so we often find him shirtless, which for me, is fantastic. Exhibit A and B (for abs).
THEN after popping back to New York for a few days I flew to LA where I went to an Oscars party by Threads (which you have to be on if you want to see my text posts since I’m forever suspended from Twitter) and went Instagram Official with Dylan Efron— Also PLEASE get into the Bode jacket. AND Adrien Brody won Best Actor.
AND had a meet cute with a handsome stranger at a coffee shop, so like I said, divas, it’s been a busy few weeks for your girl. But I’m here now, just for you. Only you.
Honourable Mention
With Love, Meghan Is The Tig IRL
Me myself personally, I will always support Meghan SUSSEX (not Markle) no matter what she does. Did we have a slight falling out over me not being sent her jam? Well yes! I should have been 1/51! But I digress. It’s the perfect show to put on while you organize your closet, or make a balloon arch for your children (or dog) but if you were looking for riveting television (why would you be in a lifestyle show?) then you will have to look elsewhere, because it’s a little sleepy! My opinion of shows like this is that when you’re a pretty even keel person, you need someone is unhinged to balance it out, and that’s precisely why she got Mindy Kaling to come, and it was perfect. And the show already has a Season 2 that’s coming this Autumn, as it’s already been filmed!
White Women Are Back!
Speaking of Mindy Kaling, she has a new show called Running Point starring Kate Hudson in a Ted Lasso (if he slayed) meets Succession (if they let Roman be gay)-style TV show about sports! The lead character Isla1 (Hudson) has an older brother who is a drug addict and complete fuck up (Kendall) she has a brother no one cares about (The old one from Ferris Bueller) AND she has a gay brother (Roman) it’s just like Succession! But it’s SPORTS! GET IT?!?! Anyway, it’s absolutely worth watching (you’ll probably binge it) Plus Schmidt is in it.
Gaga Phones Home
In preparation for ‘Mayhem’, the new album Lady Gaga released today, she’s been on a press tour (with a Velma Kelly lob) and she’s slaying it, I fear.
The Other Two’s Drew Tarver stars in Running Point as what else—a gay man. And I love him for it. She’s also the host and musical guest for SNL tomorrow, but more importantly, she has confirmed that Telephone II is in the works, and if you’re wondering what that sound was, gay men everywhere are rejoicing.
Robert Pattinson Has A Huge Rocket Ship
In his new film Mickey 17, where he goes on a SpaceX type mission (one that doesn’t blow up) to get away from his problems, and finds love, unpacks memories, and wrestles with mortality along the way, I’ve found myself wanting to ride his rocket. Yes that’s a euphemism. It’s a fantastic film from Parasite king Bong Joon-Ho, and it’s the perfect thing to watch this weekend! Get thee to a movie theatre!
Don’t Mention It
RIP Gwen Stefani
For the record, she isn’t dead, it’s just very, VERY over for her. She’s been dipping her Japanese toes in conservatism for a while now, and when I called it out on Twitter, people called me a misogynist. Well once again, I was right, and everyone else was wrong, and she’s besties with Tucker Carlson, so THERE!
Mayhem, More Like Boredom
Speaking of Lady Gaga, upon first (and second) listen of the album, I’m a little bored! Is the reality just going to be that everything happening outside of the world falling apart is just us getting lackluster art? I sure hope not. I will continue to listen to it over the weekend and give my final thoughts next week, but it’s not looking good—and I’m someone who LOVED Artpop and Chromatica! It just seems like this is what happens when fans ask an artist to go back to what made them famous, and the fame was like 15 years ago and they’re no longer on that part of their journey anymore, so it just feels reductive. She need to be making her Ray of Light right now! I do like this song though, so there’s that I guess.
Un Pétit Puncture
I was at dinner with a friend a few weeks ago when Ozempic came up, and a (beautiful, bronzed, svelte) woman next to us jumped into the convo to tell us she was on Zepbound and it changed her life. I am this type of diner. I love to eavesdrop, and I love to offer unsolicited advice. This only works if you’re attractive. But a few days later, I read this article from The Hollywood Reporter about how people in LA (where else) are microdosing Ozempic. When I say “a few days later I read” it, I mean I opened the tab in my phone in Safari and it sat there for almost a month, and I read it two days ago. An interesting read if nothing else, but I feel like people in LA are microdosing EVERYTHING chile, ketamine, mushrooms, accountability, the list goes on and on.
Eggs Are Too Expensive!!!
Bird Flu is trying to kill one of the most important residents of Sesame Street AND it’s trying to ruin my frittatas! Can I have NOTHING in this world???
Big Trouble In Thailand
The White Lotus is back, bringing with it a trio of insane women who I am DESPERATE to have bellinis with them. I am CERTAIN these two are going to kill each other
Did I Forget To Mention
And speaking of Walton Goggins who is in this season of The White Lotus, he’s also in Season 4, of The Righteous Gemstones which is back this Sunday right after The White Lotus. I just can’t get enough of his big ass forehead, so I for one, am thankful.
I feel like Isla is a name reserved for readheads? And not just because of Isla fisher, but I feel like there’s lore there.
no shade but the guy who had that dog is your soul mate and we need to find him
Have we found the doggie J HUD’s owner yet?