Why Is Everyone So Afraid of Aging?
Some of y’all can’t ACT your age, at least look it!
I remember being a kid and watching Death Becomes Her.
Yes I should have known I was a little fruity at that age based on my obsession with this film alone, because what other kid is spending their free time cuddled up on the sofa with their mother to watch a camp movie about a former starlet’s fading career who chooses to take a potion to maintain her youth, thereby dealing with the consequences that follow? Sorry for having TASTE!
Not only has Death Becomes Her become one of my favourite films, but it’s one I reference often—the iconic line where Meryl Streep says to Goldie Hawn “I can see right through you” while looking through the giant circular hole that she shot through Goldie’s abdomen (ruined a really cute outfit by the way!) is an oft remarked line in this household.
But I couldn’t help but wonder—with all the botox, and anti-aging cremes that promise to turn back time and keep you looking young forever, would I be like Meryl Streep (we’re already SO much alike) and take a potion to stop aging and be the hottest version of myself (literally how much hotter can I get? I mean hello!) forever and ever?
Do I really care about pulling a Dorian Grey—which, now that I mention it, he kinda served because what an amazing life he lived and art collection he curated! And if you haven’t seen Penny Dreadful, his character is in that show and he and Josh Hartnett have a VERY hot makeout session and then they make whoopee! Bisexual kings!—And I know the moral of the story is that old men are creepy, and that vanity is bad, but also why would they make a piece of furniture called a vanity where I can look at a beautiful, illuminated version of myself! Exactly. Bet you Einstein couldn’t answer THAT question, huh!
But the desperation to hold on to youth reminds me of the current state we’re in where we see someone tweet “they’re aging like fine wine” about a 32 year-old, about Zac Efron even! Shut UP!
What do people think happens after you turn 30? Do you go into hiding for fear of being looked upon and turning into ash? No! You get to rent a car without worrying about having to pay extra fees because you’re an irresponsible 24 year old. It comes with perks! But most of us aren’t doing everything in our power to stay young because of one reason: IT’S EXPENSIVE!
Which brings me to Bryan Johnson, the guy who sold his company to PayPal for $800M in 2013 who now spends $2M a year to keep up his youthful lifestyle, and I’m not too good with money, but I feel like that’s a lot! Think of all the coats you could buy! He could buy shares of Waystar | Royco even! It’s called an inVESTMENT!
Spending $2M a year seems to be working for him, but also, who wants to look like Jude Law in A.I. Artificial Intelligence anyway?! Was Jude Law extremely hot in this film (and nearly every other film he’s in) yes! But that’s not the point!
I just feel like—do what works for you, but also, you can look young forever, and then one day walk out of your house, and get hit by a bus. So was it really worth it?
Also, I’m creating a chat for Sunday night for the people who are watching the Succession finale. It’s gonna be a crazy one evidently. And the episode is 1hr 30m!
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“… drew Susan Sarandon from memory” knocked me all the way out 😭😭
Death Becomes Her should be taught in schools!! It’s canon!